By Promise Adiele
I do not intend to start any gender war or initiate a debate which will ultimately provoke the supremacist, patriarchal fantasy of insecure men. Some men are quick to contaminate the smug, arrogant fever of self-importance any time there is a narrative to celebrate the contributions of women in society. To expel all forms of gender bias from our mental processes, let us quickly establish that men are heads of their various homes and their sublunary authorities cannot be undermined. We must never fail to admit at all times that men are wonderful people, that is, responsible men who toil day and night to take care of their families. But of course, not all men are responsible. Responsible men are champions, dedicated to one thing – the welfare of their families even to the extent of stewing in the juice of self-denial. But this week, as Nigeria marks its 64th independence anniversary, I am interested in Nigerian women – housewives, single mothers or women burdened with household upkeep which requires going to the market, buying foodstuffs and returning home to cook. If you are in that category as a woman, take a bow, take your flowers, and celebrate yourself.
It is quite easy for us to rehash the brutal, smothering economic conditions in Nigeria every day while the ruling class bask in the euphoria of their newfound love of material opportunism. Nothing changes, nothing has changed, and nothing will change. Nigerians continue to suffer and smile as Fela prophesied many years ago. In every home, the situation is the same – children are starving, basic needs are missing, and husbands and wives are faced with difficult conditions they cannot explain. Wages and salaries are not improving, but prices of goods, services, and food items are increasing every day. In all these, the women in the house are the real champions. This class of people are wonderful, holding their homes, and going to market every day with the same amount of money for some years. It sounds like a miracle. My question is, how do women do this? I am aware some housewives have had their monthly feeding allowances increased minimally, but some still manage the same amount of money they were used to over some years ago. Yet, they still keep the home front going. Great managers, I call them.
Mrs Stella is a 47-year-old wife and mother of three children. Her husband works in a manufacturing company as a manager. He earns N360,000 monthly. He was earning N320,000 earlier but his salary was increased to N360,000 late last year. Mrs Stella works as a secondary school teacher in the city and her salary is N120,000. She has earned the same salary for four years without increment. Her husband takes care of their rent, a three-bedroom flat at Okota where they pay N800,000 monthly. In addition, the man pays the school fees, medicals, and sundry expenses in the house. But Mrs Stella has the responsibility to feed the family every month from her salary. Tough job you would say. Her husband, out of pity added N30,000 to her salary for the upkeep of the house. The money is not enough, never enough. She practically weeps anytime she goes to the market. She was taking the same amount of money to the market when a bag of rice was N20,000. Now a bag of rice is N105,000. The prices of food items have plummeted. The husband cannot help the situation because house rent has increased and school fees have also increased. But somehow, just somehow, Mrs Stella manages to keep the family going.
Ordinarily, a household where N480,000 comes in monthly should live fairly well. Two or three years ago, such a household would feed well and pass off as a comfortable family. But in 2024, the story is different. That family is suffering and managing hard. If we think that Mrs Stella and her family are managing hard, then we must consider the fate of families with more children and lower income. Mrs Bidemi is in that category. She is a petty trader in Ikeja. Her husband lost his job at a commercial bank two years ago. Since then, he has not secured another job. Although the bank paid him some money as a severance package, they invested it in fish and snail farming but the business collapsed. Mrs Bidemi makes less than N100,000 every month. They have four children, three are in secondary school and one is out of secondary school. They cannot send her to university. The responsibility to carry the home rests on Mrs Bidemi while the husband is searching for another job. Asked how she does it, she smiles and responds “na God. I must admit that God is wonderful. God has been kind to us. My elder brother helps out sometimes. My sister also helps us. But I must admit that it is not easy, money has no value these days. When I go to market with N20,000, I return with an almost empty bag”.
The two instances above capture the dire situation many housewives find themselves. The prices of garri, beans, yam, rice, crayfish, meat, tomatoes, potatoes, plantain, and other food items have hit the roof. Many households barely survive. Parents cannot send their children to school. In all of these, women, the engine of every household, keep their homes moving. Let me reiterate that I do not seek to undermine men. Of course, I know they are facing their challenges, but women are the champions of Nigeria’s economic crunch. I asked Mrs Onosanya, a shop owner in Lagos who she voted for in the last election. Hear her “Sir, before the election, I didn’t know who to vote for. But I had my voter’s card with me. So, the leader of our market called a meeting and told us to vote for anyone we wanted but cautioned that we should be ready to bear the consequences. I spoke with my husband and he encouraged me to vote for his candidate, someone of integrity, from an honest and verifiable background. Well, I made up my mind about who to vote for but a week before the election, they came here to threaten us that if we did not vote for a particular candidate, they would lock up our chops. Sir, I cannot lie to you. They forced us to vote for the wrong candidate and today, we are suffering the situation. My husband sold everything we had and resigned from his job to travel abroad but he was scammed. He became depressed and I have been managing him. Life is so tough these days but we trust God to help us” she concluded.
It is difficult to aggregate the experiences of different households across Nigeria in these vicious economic conditions. But somehow, the examples above are a reflection of what many families are going through. Some families live in worse conditions, while others barely survive. The responsibility of keeping the homes going falls on women and housewives. They must take care of the children, manage the man’s emotions and make him happy, pray, be there for everyone and still take care of themselves. Now, I appreciate what my late mother went through with her seven children. I appreciate what my wife goes through with her four children. I appreciate my female colleagues better. I appreciate women more these days. Certainly, some women have also scattered their homes and proved unreliable in these times. I am not interested in such women. I am minded to celebrate real women, the champions of Nigeria’s bleeding economic conditions. But sadly, I am worried that these conditions will make women vulnerable during elections. For a bag of rice, a carton of indomie, two thousand naira and other crumbs from the hands of unconscionable politicians, these women will capitulate and surrender their consciences. Perhaps, it is a ploy by the ruling class to weaponize poverty and make the common people susceptible. Whatever the case, God bless all women of virtue. Bravo to Nigerian women.
Promise Adiele PhD
Mountain Top University
Promee01@yahoo.com
X: @drpee4
Leave a Reply